That hurts :(

The below msg wouldnt have hurted me if i didnt care about its sender. The truth is, im not able to sleep as a result of it. My question to the sender of this e-mail although the person made it very clear they dont want anything to do with me is what have i done? I will grant you your wish and wont contact you anymore. But i want you to know through ( anyone reading my blog who may have firgured the person out) that i have nothing against you. I will forever cherish the moments you stood by me. I do hope that you clarify why and what happened? But if you dont wish to do so, little i could do. I dont have a problem with saying sorry if i ever wronged you but so far its not clear to me this sudden change just an e-mail ahead things were fine. What happened between that e-mail and this one below?

"My very Dear Happy Moi, Can I ask you here and now Please do not contact me no morenot now, not next week, not next year - No more please I hope I hear nothing more from you, or about you Good luck Best wishes And that’s it From now on, your future e-mails sent to me will automatically enter the junk folder Best wishes"

I fail to believe that im dear if thats what you have to say to me. You left me wondering just like many people before if what we had -what ever it was- was real? I dont know if knowing that you hurted me makes you feel good, but you did. I dont know what my fellow bloggers have to say in this regard. I'm honestly telling you i have nothing against the writer of this e-mail, and this was all sudden. This person doesnt want me to get in contact, and i will respect the wishes of this person. I did in fact delete the address because i was told any effort would go to waste. I have no other channels of contact to try and figure whats going on. I'm hurt beyond belief. To add to all this, today has already been a not so good day for me, and this just finished it up for me. I dont know what to say, but i need to know if anyone has any thoughts or even questions for me. I'm ready to answer anything because i really need to know what would make a person do this?.

HELP ME OUT:P ya lahwiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

Yesterday i ended up sleeping at my aunt's house. You know how libyan aunts are, if you come to their house they never want you out. She swear "walahi ela ma etji etbati alyum"--which means you have to come sleep over tonight...i was left out of options so i thought ok i'll go after all the guests leave and stay there until breakfast time then leave right away...planning ..planning...little did i know that plans are never functionable in my dear society, as i i was about to leave my aunt make another "libyan swear" -walahi low matg3deesh tet3'adi ma3ad etklameni wa la ani 3amtek wa la na3rfek...which means for my non-libyan speakers "i swear to god if you dont stay over for lunch, i wont be talking to you, and i wont be your aunt anymore...So i had no choice, i stayed...Then kalas i was gonna explode if they dont let me out, cuz i wanted to take go home, take a shower and rest...So i told my aunt that i must leave cuz i feel yucky and i didnt bring my showering stuff, she was baout to send her son to bring me my stuff but i insisted i go then after i rest if i was able to wake up i'd come...mentally, i had the plan of not going back but i had to say i'd try or else i wont be able to leave her house. So alhamdullah im home!!! I had a nice time, but really when i need to go home--- i need to go home!!! Still family gatherings, and slowly im losing it!! HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Libyan Social Life, is it fair?

Romana asked for an update, and so here goes it: I have alot to write about but so little time. I have been spending so much time all over the place. It is been more then a week worth of going out every single day, sometimes twice a day. Today, i have to go to my dad's sister's house. So really things are so busy. I cant wait until its time to have time for myself. Growing up i missed all of these things but now as wonderful as they are i do feel they are many times more then i can handle!!! I have alot of things to say as a result of these gatherings, and the conversations we had but for now, i just wanted to say that im ok..Latest-- my uncle and his son( from Germany) leave today..Wish you two a safe trip home.. Slowly everyone is getting ready to go back *home?!*....life here goes on, and my question remains is the Libyan social life fair to one's self??

I want to say goodbye to u my flu..for it is family time:P

I have been dealing with the dreaded flu for about five days now if not more; i lost count. Alhamdullah, i have gotten much better. It is still there but not as severe, i have what i call the aftermath of the flu, the cough,headache,and the red nose:P

What have i ( happymoi) been up to?
The past few days have all been about family gatherings. They are still about that and will be for awhile...some are back here for a visit,some were away for health reasons. Yesterday i was at my aunt's place(my dad's sis). She just came back with her husband and my grandma from Tunisia. Her husband, had two surgeries there. He is doing well, and im happy for him and the family. Now there is my other aunt's husband who is still in Tunisia undergoing treatment for the strok he had, he isnt back yet but we are waiting for him..(see i told you Tunisia equates hospital for almost all Libyans,thats why when they hear someone is in Tunisia the first thing they say is inshallah la bas). Also, my mom's side of the family has been about family get together. It is been hectic for us, having to juggle between both famlies..its good we are still sane!we r trying to make sure we are present every where... Today, i have to go back to my aunt's place, and spend the day there. Tomorrow, i have to go to my mom's side of the family and have lunch with everyone at my mom's sister's house, then come back to my dad's sis's house in the evening *sigh*. My mom's sis have invited all of us and my uncle who is here for a visit for lunch. In the midest of all this i have to keep up with my friends. I must say i havent seen any of them since school came to an end on June18th, i have only been talking to them through the phone. Its been really crazy, and i hope they dont get angry at me for not spending anytime with them....it feels like im running a marthoon....ahhh....

**Last but not least :) b-day dear bro **

Welcome Home Uncle & Cousin

Two days ago, my uncle came to Libya. His last visit was in 2004, the year we moved here. His 2004 visit was his first visit to Libya since he was 17 years old. He has two sons,and is married to a German lady. Both of his sons came to Libya at around year 2004 for the first time in their life,and they liked it here. The only problem is that they dont speak any Arabic. They only know few words, but the good thing is they both speak in addition to German, English. It would be a real problem if they didnt speak English. As no one in the family speaks German with exception to their own father and mother!! Both of my cousins say they are amazed at the kindness and welcome they have recieved..I reply "come on you are one of us"..i think thats a wonderful part of the Libyan community we dont treat people as outsideres regardless where they come from...so ofcourse my cousins are even more so part of us..

We were all gathered at grandma to welcome them,this time my uncle came with one of his sons. It is nice having them here:) Welcome home you two:)

It is been 3 years 2day!!!!

Three years ago,today, my family and i moved to Libya. I remember on my tranist stop in London, back then, that i wrote an e-mail to my friend complaning how would my parents do this to me, complaning about many things, about my schooling,my friends,the turn my life was about to take. Little did i know that although its tough,i'd get used to it. I'd love it. Well, love was already there. Its Libya. I was Libyan despite all the paper work,despite all the school records that state that im otherwise,despite my country of birth,despite all the facts. I was Libyan, a true Libyan.

It wasnt easy, i didnt expect it to be easy, until this day, at times i feel the urge to pack my bags and go back to the life i got used to...Many times...Then i think, well it was about time that i got to know my family,my country,my people. It is about time that i experience life in this land....somehow in between i found joy in living here.. sure it is not easy, sure i miss it over there lots, but at times i think maybe it was about time. Who knows.

Here goes my results....tada

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Me, the Tourist:)

--I miss it already--

My trip to London was first and foremost for work experience! Most of my days were spent at work and i had very little time off. In the contrary, my mom, and brother were there to chill and relax. Having said that, i had in mind few places i wanted to visit, especially after the car tour my dad's friend took us in. I wanted to see Madame Tussuad's museum, and Harrods. These two i really wanted to see, as we say in Libyan "if i didn't see them a Palm tree would have risen on my head". My mom didn't want to tag along with me as she wanted to get some shopping done..my dad's friend's daughter wanted to hang out with me and i thought this would be a good chance for us to catch up on everything since i spent very little time with her due to work..... I wouldn't go alone either not because I'm afraid but rather because fun=a minimum of two people:) So i was pleased that she too had in mind going out with me on my last day. I asked her to come early and so she came to my place at 10am. I thought good timing. I had a good night sleep. I slept until 9am. Then woke up, got ready and waited for my friend. She arrived we took the bus to Baker street. We located the museum and WOW, the cue, as referred to by the British was LONG..i call it line up, it was sooooooo crowded! We waited until about 1:30pm to get in. Finally we got our tickets and got in. I was so excited to see everyone and be me. I missed the real me. I'm an outgoing person, i would jump up and down, i don't have "act ur age" theory, although when I'm in Libya i try my best to, but usually, the real me wins. So i took pictures with a lot of the stars,leaders....i was crazy....but i had a blast....I took some pics specifically for the blog, and I'll have a pic entry inshallah as soon as i get the connector:) The museum was so crowded. It was amazing walahi!! It felt like one of those wild parties (not that i ever been to one:P) it was fun. The funny thing that happened to me while i was there was when i thought that the statue of a journalist with a camera was real, you see i noticed her, so i turned around and i said sorry cuz i was standing in front of her...only to realize after few minutes later that she wasn't real. I started laughing with my friend hysterically!! God..i keep laughing at myself every time i remember!!! We saw everything we could,acted proper with the crowd and left after we finished our tour of the museum. Then my friend suggested that we got to family square (well it has a different name) i cant recall. To Londoners help me out (its where lots of birds are) loooooooooooool. That's the best i could describe it! Yea yea its what u r thinking! Almohem. We took pics there. I was on a mission, protecting my friend's water bottle from the guys collecting garbage, because every time i put it on the floor next to me or next to the stand near the fountain someone trys to grab it. Actually in one of the pics i was trying to stop the guy. I laugh everytime i see it. Then we ate at McDonald's. After that, we headed to Harrods. YEAH. I was so thrilled to have gotten the chance to visit it, again, i was trying to protect myself from growing a Palm tree over my head. Harrods was my number one must see. That might sound odd to everyone especially with the fact that i hate shopping. I think the reason for my visit was because there was so much publicity about the mall and i wanted to see it. I saw the memorial for Diana and Dodi. I couldn't help though but feel sad that such a memorial would be set for Dodi by his own father especially the wine glass....i mean we are always told to remember the best of those who pass away not the worst "odkro ma7asena mawtakum". Well, i took a pic of the memorial as well. I took a picture of the Harrods green sofa as well. I will post them all inshallah as soon as i get the phone connector (again, i don't know when I'll get it). I toured around Harrods and there was a protest against fur which i guess are the essence of many of the products Harrods sells. I took a photo of the protest as well. Then it was seven pm. Kalas, my energy was off, i needed to get home. I got to my place freshened up, chatted a bit with my friend then she had to head home because her house is an hour away. Then i stayed home and waited for my mom...she came at around 8pm...I asked her to tag along with me to Costa for a hot chocolate which i have been wanting to have all week, but didn't until my last day. Before our coffee we went quickly to shops, got chocolate for my cousins,and a cute dress for my cousin's baby girl, and a book for me (The Devinchi Code-yes i haven't read it YET). That was the end of my last day in London. I had a blast. I will forever remember the tour my dad's friend took us to on my second or third day and also will remember my last day there, and for sure my work experience and the warm welcome i have received from everyone there. I laughed and walked like i have never done before. My trip was amazing!!! Alhamdullah!!! I would so go again:)

On the day of my trip bk home, i purchased 3 John Grisham books(The Client,The innocent man,The Pelican Brief), and two Toni Macguire Books (When Daddy comes home, Don't tell Mommy). I ended up spending around 40 pounds on books. I would have spent more if i got the chance but i had to check out. I think i have an obsession with books. I like buying and reading them more so then buying clothes....my sister thinks I'm nuts!!

P.S: Pics to come when i get the connector back:)

Was i sent to the gulf?

It was 7/7/07 (Saturday)I woke up and headed to the airport,i was excited yet apprehensive. I was going to London, and for the first time in my life i travel for the purpose of work (internship). I have done lots of work experience/volunteer work throughout my life,but i never did any work experience in the field of law so i had mixed feelings and there was the usual questions: will i be able to mannage? After few mintues i decided to let go of these thoughts. I had a full day before i even had to go to work as my internship was to start on the 9th. I got to London at around 5.20pm, went through check in,and was out in a flash but decided to wait for my cousins/their friends who were on a tranist stop in London to go to Canada.It took them awhile to be checked in,they were all under 16. They got a 24 hour visa and left to a hotel for the night. I had my dad's friend waiting for me and my brother,and mom. Yes my mom tagged along(and im glad she did). It was supposed to be just me and my brother but then my mom decided to come along as well. We were in the car for almost 2 hours if not abit more. There was some sort of a march(maseera) and the roads were either closed or crowded so it took us about the time we spent on flight to get to our place. We stayed at burwood/marple arch. I was surprised/astonished/amazed/ at the number of muslims and specifically at the number of people from the gulf. I remember my amazment went as far as texting my dad, and asking him did he by any chance send me to the gulf? and went on to msg my sister and tell her that im not in London. I have lived in other western countries but have never seen that many muslims in one place (mashallah). It felt like home. Arabic was everywhere, and on my first and second day i heard very little English spoken. I had to remind myself every now and then that im in an English speaking country!! The first day, i got to our place really tired and exahusted and had little energy to do anything, so i just went out for the purpose of eating something and getting home to sleep...little did i know that many times i'd just do,go home from work,freshen up,go eat then come home!I had my cousin, khalti and her husband on a visit(they got there few days before us) in London so we met up on our second day in London (8/7/07)-Sunday. It was a day for us to get fimiliar with our area and explore the surroundings. We spent all day at edgware,going from one store to another. I was supposed to get a new formal black trousers to wear at work but wasnt in the mood of trying things out...so i just looked around and ended up buying nothing that day. We took breaks every now and then at my cousin's hotel at the business launch or at our place. Whenever we get tired, we go to the closest place. After a long day we went to maroush,a lebenese resaturant (which had lots of branches but we went to the one that has nice tables and looks more formal. We had a wonderful chat together and eat Lebenese food. I love Lebenese food especially "waraq al 3enab" -vine leaves and all their salads!!Then it was 9/7/07 (Monday). It was my first official day of work. I woke up at around 7:30am,got myself ready, and woke up my brother at around 8:30 so we could go to train station at around 9:00am and get our oyster card. My dad's friend tagged along to show us the way ( barak alahu feeh,he did more then he should walahi). So we purchased our one week tickects and headed to aldegate. It was a formal business area. Everyone was dressed in suits except my brother(he felt out of place,he said). I got to the firm (Holman Fenwick and Willan) at around 10 to 15am. This firm is so historical it has been there sicne 1880s and was founded by the Holman family.At work i was given a temperoray card (to scan through doors so i can go into the firm and same process to get out)so movie style, all these secuirty stuff!!! A. Cornner from HR was waiting for me and other vaction students (thats what i was called- a vaction student) and toured us around the firm and gave us instructions fire alram/emergency and all the normal procedures and asked us to be dressed formally, and we were already dressed according to standereds, we were also asked to sign a contract stating that everything we hear at the firm we forget at the firm,and thats only right because there are lots of confidential information and it needs to remain as such. Then i was introuduced to D. Honey,the lawyer i have been in contact with through e-mail but never seen in real life until then, he was my main surprovisor. He welcomed me to the firm and gave me a long case to read through i was showed to my office (orginally it belongs to another solicter who was away on a business trip) which happened to be across from J.Clanchy a solicter who has done lots of work in North Africa and specifically Libya. On my first day of work,the company took me to Lunch at a restaurant called Assembly. It was an alright experience. I had a nice chat with my fellow coworkers. There were four of them and i was the fifth. We talked about everything, from Libya to France to Canada. They gave me an overview of what it is like to work at a law firm. Then we headed back to our firm,and i continued reading the case and making notes. So my first day reminded me of my exam period. Then i went home,freshened up,and went out to my cousin's hotel chatted together and then my dad's friend brought his daughter and took me and my brother on a tour (the same route that the tour bus takes) and i got to see tons of places from the comfort of the car such as the Big pen,Buckingham palace,Harrods,Chalers place,the road that was name after the English's victory over the Spanish,and many more places which i took pics off..we had a nice walk around the river and the tour ended,,,then i got home,,,and i went to Pizza Hut with my brother and mom..After that we headed home and slept.10/7/07 (Tuesday)My day started at around 7:30am. I woke up got ready,waited until it was 8:30 am and woke up my bro to tag along with me. My mom had an underground phobia and was worried someone would beat me up or something, she said if i wanted to go alone that i should use the bus. Ofcourse, that was out of the question. Cuz with buses i'd have to calculate the time loss of the traffic and would have to make it up by waking up few hours earlier (no thanks). That was a no way. So my poor bro tagged along!! Got to work, and contuined reading the case. Then i was asked to stop reading and assist them with getting the doucments/proves in order,and review the calculations of a case that has the 1oth as its deadline.I quickly scanned through the case and got stright to work. i did what i was asked and i had so much fun doing it. Then it was lunch time, and i went to Eat--it was a horrible experience. Bad choice!!I drank my coca and left the sandwich on the tray. Oh remembering it makes me wanna throw up--excuse moi! Then i went to my cousin's hotel, chatted and then went out and checked the shops. Again, i was just tagging along,i didnt purchase anything,then i asked my cousin/aunt/mom to go eat at Pizza Hut, i was hungry so i didnt want to go to any place to try out, i wanted something i already knew. We ate and then we each headed home. We were too tired to do anything, and epsecially me. I was dead tired!11/7/07 (Wednesday)Just the usuall routine, i went to work, continued reading on the case i was given the first day as it was a hugh case, and i was asked to do a research about Corporate Manslaughter/Coporate Killing. I took a break from reading the case and did the research, then i discussed my findings with my fellow coworker. After getting that done i got another case to read and highlight certian information, which i did happily. Then it was lunch time, this time i went with my coworker Clare to starbucks (again i was going for fimilair places). I'm a pickky eater so its hard for me to enjoy just anything. I ate abit and left the rest because they had something in there that i couldnt eat. I drank my orange juice and chatted with my coworker about Libya, her travels,mine,and the firm. I had an amazing time, with exception to my sandwich i enjoyed my lunch time:P I headed back to work and continued reading the case until it was time to go home. My dad was to arrive to London on Wednesday so i went home and found a msg from his international cell (happymoi whats for dinner today?) i replied (dad resturants are everywhere,and you get to choose)...So we waited for him, and went to my cousin's hotel,we had a good chat and said goodbye to them cuz they were leaving in the morning and headed to Maroush,the lebenese resturant i mentioned earlier. We had shish tawooq(main course),in addition to some appetizers and mine was ofcourse vine leaves:) waraq al enab:)..Then we headed home and slept.12/7/07Work had a different falvour on the 12th.I was given a new case to highlight certain information (a 10 pages case, no as long as the first case i was given)...in addition to that, I was asked to attend a workshop lunch with my coworkers which i did happily and the workshop was about "whats a ship"...it was alright, the food (oh no) i dont even want to remember. It was club sandiwiches and i mean im fine with them, at least i used to be fine with them...but oh god, i grabbed a cheese club sandwich and walahi i had to fill my cup with water so i could force my self to finish it...Cuz everyone's plate was full except mine and i didnt want my coworkers to think i didnt like the lunch, cuz it would be rude so i forced my self into eating that sandwich!! what an experience:(! I head home as hungry as wolf!! I asked my mom to join me to the Spaghttie house. I wanted some real food and so i went there. It was good and the waiter was so much fun, i gave the waiter a good tip for his sense of humor and his service!! After that i checked some stores out, they had only an hour and were going to close so i quickly looked through and i bought some souviners for myself.13/7/07It was my last day of work and i got to just about four pages to finish the huge case i was given on my first day. I completed that and done a summary of it. Then my coworker told me to come with him to court which i gladly accepted. The building was amazing. It is so victorian. I loved it. I went to the court of Appeal in which everyone was wearing wigs, and a trail of a murderer was in session. An appeal trial. The convict was in a box and had his head down. It was a creepy feeling being the same room with a murderer! I aslo went to commerically related trial..I went to the court garden (and no it wasnt a real graden) it was an indoor garden had chaires/like a rest area for lawyers but indoors. I had fun, lots of fun there. Then my coworkers took me to lunch at this place which i forgat what it was called, and i had a good lunch, a good chat with my fellow coworkers!!Then it was time to get back to work. I finished all my tasks and was waiting for the final discussion of my week,my case, and everything and i did that with my surprivisor. Then it was time to head home, i said my goodbyes and thank yous and i was given the contact information of my fellow workers, the ones i spent most of my time with (D. Honey, J. Clanchy,S. Salimi-pour). Overall, my work experience was amazing. I will talk about my last day in London (in which i did the going all over the place tour)...but for now, my entry is long enough...Pics will be posted as soon as i get the phoner connecter!Thats an account of my work experience...The rest later:)

Alhamdullah: 4th year here i come :-) rororororeyyy

Alhamdullah!! My results turned out wonderful. Alhamdullah!!Alhamdullah!! i passed all my courses, including the course i was so afriad of (Happymoi high fives self:P). To my surprise i did exceptionally well on it on my final exam. (How did i screw up on my midterm?i'm not so sure!-that will remain a mystry) I'm still at the disbelief stage. This year was one of the toughest school years for me,and for everything to work out at the end is just wonderful. Alhamdullah. I'm still puting my thoughts down about my trip.So be patient,

ALhamdullah as many times as there are human beings on this earth

and even more so. Alhamdullah! I'm so happy. All that studying didnt go to waste:):):) I was told that i got top student, i havent seen that yet but i'll take my friend's words. The list of rankings isnt yet composed by the school so my friend just checked our averages and said i was top (ofcourse im thrilled:)). I'm not too worried about rankings and all because for me passing criminal law was a mircal... Really the exams for that course were hell on earth!! I'm so greatful i passed it. YAY celebration time:)

While talking about results: Congrats to my friend Mo for graduating, i knew you'd get far! Mashallah! Congrats to all grads of 07. To my classmates and friends: mabrook al naja7:)

I just thought i share with everyone the best moment of the day!! ALhamdullah:)

Happymoi is BACK:)

Thank you all for your comments!

I'm too tired now so i wont be saying much!!

I'm back to Tripoli....I have been in London for nine days not five (it seems everyone has been mislead by the date i posted my entry). I just didnt log into the net until the 10th so yeah. I have done what i could, my internship went well, although i must say it has stood many times in the way of my tours,nevertheless,i have enjoyed my stay in London. More to come later:)

I'm in London right now. Things are really busy. I dont have that much time to go online!! More to come later probably when im back to Tripoli which will be inshallah on the 15th.

I miss you all tons. Have a wonderful time!

Health Nightmare [not care]

On December,2006 my aunt's husband got a stroke which left him half paralyzed. He was under going treatment and was getting better. He got to the point of being able to walk. Only to get sick again on a Friday June30,2007 night at around 12am. The thing about getting sick on a Friday night in Libya is that no doctors are on hospitals. None whatsoever. No one. Its as if no one gets sick on Fridays. It is as if this day is a holiday from "it" all. Reality says other wise. Imagine this, my uncle was sick. He was being taken from one hospital to another,no hospital was ready to take him because he was in an awful state. HELLOOOOOO what are hospitals for if they are going to keep saying we cant take him, his state is way over us. What is going on?? So the family ended up taking him to al sbea3a hospital which is around an hour drive away.Can you believe it. Can you believe it? The worst is yet to come. After a one hour drive no doctors were available at the that specialized heart hospital. That's when the family decided to use its connections. Imagine..calling people they knew so they could locate a doctor to have a look at my aunt's husband. He was placed in intensive care unit, and what an intensive care it was. He was supposed to stay for 24 hours,but was placed out less then 12 hours later? !!! What the hell???!! really. I mean he was in a miserable state, closer to death then life how on earth did they see him improve? An educated decision was made to get him out of Libya, to the now famous Libyan new hospitals (TUNISIA), now there is a "tones" phobia cuz its equated with being sick. Yup it was that bad. Now at least he is receiving the treatment he deserves, he is taken good care of, at least in terms of "keeping him in intensive care unit". It really saddens me that we are where we are. We are a rich country, we deserve good hospitals. I not only blame the health care system but i also blame the doctors for their heartless actions. At least have the decency to be there when it is your shift. 7aram 3alekum goes to all the doctors out there. Ok so in my family's case we were able to take him to Tunisia with an emergency plane, what about others who cant? or is it that no one really cares anymore?? Walahi my heart was torn on Friday night, the whole family was in a disastrous state. The problem is, the pain of having someone you know get hurt wasnt enough, the health care system +doctors had to add "insult to injury"...my dad vowed we are moving as soon as he can...i don't blame him for making such a vow. He was awaken from his sleep in the middle of the night and was searching for a hospital along with everyone else.In Germany, if a doctor was on holiday (HOLIDAY) and happen to pass by a sick person on the street and didnt help him his license would be rovoked, why dont we impose such a thing in Libya? well ba3deen we wont have any licenced doctors! Rabi yuster wa kalas. May Allah heal all those sick and those healthy keep them so. Pray for my aunt's husband to get well soon. At the end, i hope that doctors enjoy their Friday zarada "picnic" knowing that others are dying because of their reckless act and lack of commitment.