I don't know the best way to start this entry. Bare with me my lack of creativety.
I have been thinking lots lately. I needed someone to talk to, but i finally realized that everyone has enough of their own matters to deal with so i thought what better way than just to spell my guts here. To many of you i'm not just a blogger who has a name that is vague. Instead im blogger that you have a real name attached to it. With this in mind, im going to still be frank. I'm not 100% sure if anyone will be reading this. In all cases. Here is my rant- my real feelings- everything put into words.
I'm happily engaged. My fiance has been nothing but a wonderful person. I'm not here to brag, what matters to me is that i'm comfortable and happy to have him by my side. I have been engaged for two years and this is the start of our third year el7damdala. Now long engagements dont seem to be taken very well by the Libyan community. I personally dont see it the same way. But being part of this community im being annoyed all the time by their endless questions of when is the wedding.
A rumor has it that my wedding is going to take place in December, another has it it will be in Janurary, and just few days ago someone told me "we heard your wedding is on Janurary" and another told me " ahu em3ash mazal leen enjo en3awlo fe 3ersek shino shahreen wala tala tanyat".its tehse twisted ways that i hate....well let me tell you something- they know that im applying to unis and that im doing my scholarship papers, i have said it before to everyone that i want to have everything ready by Jan- so they make a note of that and start putting dates for my wedding...acting as if they heard something so i would tell them if there is anything- well reality is there is NOTHING decided yet.....i dont know how to make anyone understand that my wedding date has not been decided i dont know when it will take place...i dont know if it is going to be soon or not....we havent set a date. Yes i have a scholarship. Yes i'm in the process of doing my papers.. Yes i'm hoping that my papers will be ready by Janurary. Yes my wedding will be decided according to my university studies. But so far i dont have everything completed. When will everyone understand that having a date for my wedding isnt a shameful thing for me to hide it...the mintue it is decided i will broadcast it. What part of it is a happy occasion dont people understand. Plus what good would it do if they found out when it is? I dont get annoyed when people ask me when is my wedding, but i do get annoyed when they asked it in their stupied- twisted way. They act as if they know something. I'm not like them. Imagine even my mom's travels are taken as a her mom is doing her "ebtat" shopping for her. For God's sake i havent bought a thing for my wedding. I havent even thought about anything. I just want everyone to leave me alone. They are stressing me out. I have enough to think about already. I don't need this right now.
They either nag about how long will i be engaged for before i get married...or make sure they annoy me by when is my wedding...and the same ppl are doing the same thing to my fiance, asking him continiously as if they are on a mission to get us. My new answer now is " you never know it could be anytime from this week to any day that follows". What can i do? They think im lie- ing to them. So i might as well add to their dizzness. Imagine they come to my sister and say your sister wrote on facebook that her wedding is on so and so.....imagine?!! hellooooooooooo if im planning on not sharing the date would i write on facebook when it is????im not stupied...ahhhh
The mintue my wedding date is set, be sure it will be my status on facebook and i will have an entry here as well. For now pray that everything works for me. Pray that people would let me live my life and stop acting in such stupied ways. I have had enough!