Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Ksad.....& Toni Macguire


I don't know why i feel that summer is one of the busiest seasons for me. I seem to have too little time for anything, yet I'm always complaining of "ksad". Ksad is a common Libyan word, it is often used during the summer, because as busy as things get, there is always a room for --I'm bored, it is boring!When you have so much to do, the word ksad shouldn't be used but then i use it anyways. It is really ksad!!

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I have finished two books this previous week, by Toni Macguire, Don't Tell Momy & When Dad Comes Home and its her getting personal about her years of being molested by her own father. I was inspired by her courage, her ability to look at the brighter side, her determination and her hard work. Many times, when i read for her i felt like kicking him, i don't even want to think of him as her father, as he doesn't deserve being one. The word father is too precious for ppl of his kind. At times, i felt i was reading fiction because my brain just didn't want to disgust the idea that such a thing took place, i wanted to hold Toni, and hug her during her younger years when everyone else was rejecting her for what she has gone through, when her own doctor looked in her eyes and gave her the nasty look(when her own father got her pregnant at the age of 14), and i wanted to be her friend when everyone rejected her. I wanted to give her shelter, to pull her out from the monster she lived with. But i didn't exist then, and even if i had what is there to assure me that i would have taken anything different then those surrounding her? I kept imagining myself being Derek or her teacher would i have helped her? I kept asking myself? or would i have been so rejecting like everyone else?

9 comments:

dusk till dawn said...

hi happymoi.
ur talking about been bored .will its summer times and its long day light,why do u paticipate in a differnt things,been bored is a killer.and make u lazy,get up and do the things u love,or have a short break holiday some where,
regarding the toni macguire book. it was alot of talk abt it, and been a bestsellers,she has been betraed by her mum to ,and let her evil father destroy her youth.
its irland for u, traumatic experiences.it made her a strong person, i think its a lady book.

ibeebarbie said...

Salam Happymoi,
WOW! What an interest book. Very good thoughts you brought up---questioning what would we do if we were in a position to do something. Very very difficult question to ask, and probably even harder to answer. For we must be truly honest with ourselves with standing the influences of our environment, our own truths which can sometimes be influenced by others, society or any number of things.

I can feel your agony at feeling helpless to not help shelter and protect someone---probably one of the reason you've selected the educational path to go down.....to make a difference, to make a change, to help someone who may not be in a position to help themselves. May Allah reward and guide you all the days of your life to always do the will of Allah even if it goes against the grain of the "normal".

I love you for your compassionate heart.

Romana said...

Hey happy, God, i hate this word "molested by her father" sometimes i wish i have some power in me to wipe those ppl from the face of the earth, i just want to know, how the hell do they justify it to themselves? what to they tell their sick brains to let them touch their own daugthers and think its ok!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mr: Madi said...
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Mr: Madi said...

When we out of some situations and we didn't go through all the circumstance, our judgments about it will not be as if we in middle of the events .

I'm not talking about the father here, I'm talking about if you be with the girl helping her or rejected her like the people done …. But your feeling about the girl is reflex how pure you are and how her sorrow touching you.

And about ALKSAD even when are in middle of some work, and any body asking you "how are you" … our answer will be… ALHAMED LILAH AHO MIKSDHA

No1-Honest Enough said...
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No1-Honest Enough said...

ياعزيزتي
للأسف هذا روتين حياتنا كساد وملل
حتي لو بتحاولي تنهضي بكل قواك خارج هذه الأسوار حتلقي نفسك مصابة بأرق إسمه الكساد والملل..للأسف بلادنا مافيهاش أماكن تنجو فيها من هذه الحالات
أو تخلق فيك جو المرح والفرح والسعادة
مثلاً كمدينة ملاهي متكاملة وكبيرة
أو كمكتبة ثقافية أو حوارات ثقافية تجمع فئات مختلفة من الناس ومن كل الثقافات حول طاولة واحده لمناقشة موضوع معين

أو إفتقارنا للحرية الشخصية
في الجلوس علي شاطيء البحر للتأمل
بدون اي تطفل

رؤس أقلام متداخلة

المشكلة أنا نفسي أعاني من الملل والكساد..وعندما أحاول الخروج منه أجد نفسي أردد كلمة كساد في اليوم أكثر من 50 مره

أخاف أن أقول نحن كالليبين نحي حياة روتينية غير قابلة للتجديد والتنوع

هكذا هو مجتمعنا ككل و هكذا هي حياتنا
فالتغير يقتل الملل والكساد والتجديد يخلق فينا رغبة للحركة والإبداع والنشاط

ما أحوجني لحديقة فارعة أجري فيها بدون أن أجد أعين متلصلصة

ما أحوجني لحوارات فكرية وثقافية مع أناس لا أعرفهم ..أحاورهم ويحاورنوني أمنحهم فكرة جديده ويمنحونني أفكار متنوعة

المطالعة تمنحك جوز سفر لأفكار الكاتب
حاولي قراءة كتب ثقافية أو كتب تاريخية أو كتب أدبية شعرية أو قصص عالمية

حاول أن تفعلي شيء جديد لم تفعليه من قبل أو أن تقسمي أسبوعك لسلسلة مشاريع مختلفة ومتنوعة

حاولي مثلما أحاول وتأملي خيراً عنذ الله

ღ lulu said...

Happymoi;try to find New thing to do.reading books sometimes gave u stranger feeling as you getting bored of reading or feel lazy or sleepy.
try to walk for long times.
try to go sport club
or going out with some of your friends.
try to make a small party ay your home invet some of your best friends.

try to viset new places.

Hibo;yes our life In libya gave us that feeling of Kssad.

Happymoi said...

Thank you all for your comments.