Whenever i opened this topic with anyone they'd say you'll get used to it. Reality is, i haven't gotten used to it. I have been married for nine months (Alhamdullah), and got a chance to see my family twice ONLY. Once was when i came back from my honeymoon, and the second time when they visited me here. The first time i got to see all of them. The second time it was only my parents and one of my siblings.
How do i feel?
My heart aches so much, and there are days that i just cannot handle the feeling. I cry sometimes. Other times i hold it inside of me. I call them, but its not the same. I continue to feel that a huge part of me is missing. It is really hard. It is as hard as i thought it would be and even harder.
Before i came about to writing this entry i was trying to study in preparation for my upcoming exams. In the midst of it, i called my mom, then i text my dad. Then i continued to study, and while i was doing that i got a text from my dad. My heart just squeezed because i miss soooooooo much. I miss both of my parents so much. I miss my siblings. I wish they were here with me.
I'm married now, and have started a family of my own, and soon my family of two will have an addition. It is the cycle of life i guess, but with all that fully understood by me, i cannot help but have such feelings. I just wish i could jump on the first flight and go to see them, but that is not possible now and even if i did once i leave the feeling will not disappear.
I have always wondered and now even more so how do people cope with missing their parents? their siblings? I cannot seem to have gotten that. I do not think i ever will :(:(
I love my family so much, and cannot help but miss them every passing second of everyday.