Today, i wrote my last midterm. What a relief it is to be done. I can sleep for a week! I havent had a peaceful sleep since exams started, so now is my time to do so, at least until i get my grades,then the "being worried" cycle will return and my prep for finals will be underway! I really hate thinking about grades. I'm so afriad of not being top student, and that fear has accompanied me since i started law school and this year its even more so...It is just that i have been top student for 3 years now *mashallah*, and i would hate to lose it at the end so that why im stressing out. I feel no one understands me...most students talk about passing, and for me passing isnt enough, i wish it was satisfactory for me but no it isnt...if my grade isnt up to the standered i would be in a bad mood, sad and all...and all the time i ask myself why cant i be like everyone else and just chill....if you see me walking you would think i dont give a damn about school cuz of my super outgoing persona and no nerdy look... but if you are around me around exam times oh boy you would think i have nothing else in my life but exams....i feel so bitter and beaten when i dont do well,, the thing is my parents arent demanding, but im very demanding of myself... why do you think this is so?!!!! i fail to understand!!
I was hoping i would travel, but things didnt work as planned! My parents are traveling on Sunday and leaving me behind:(:(:( ......yallah inshallah yemsho wa ejoo besalama (L) ...ed3oli, it is my last year and i really dont want to mess up! i miss you all so much! akak-your barakat pills are much needed:P