14 years ago,i abandoded this fruit (hehe)

There was a rule in my family that when business guests are around, or any other guest for that matter that none of us (the kids) should enter the room. We followed the rules,and things were going smoothly. Until one day, my uncle had business guests over for lunch and we (my cousin S, My cousin F and Me) decided that we should take a little risk and see what happens. Well, we saw baskets of fruits going to the guest room and we wanted some. We thought,(we didnt really think cuz otherwise we would have walked to the kictchen if we used our brain) walking to the guest room was closer then walking to the kitchen. And on we entered. Ofcourse, we were treated with smiles and welcomes even from the rule makers (my uncles). Then, we started passing by each fruit basket and only collecting bananas. I don't know how we did it but we did. Then we said goodbye to the guests and knew breaking the law has consequences and so we were waiting for our dear uncle to come along.

He was so creative in his punishment. He brought a box full of bananas. And told us we had to eat it all. If any of you seen Matilda (the part where the boy had to eat a huge chocolate cake), you would know what we thought at first and what actually would take place. Well for those who didn't see Matilda, we thought cool idea! We started eating,little did we know, that it was impossible for 3 of us to finish all that. I was sick from eating them. But my uncle insisted we continue, so next time when we want something we'd go to the kitchen and not embarrass him in front of the guests. From that day on, i can never touch a banana, never set in a sofra with Banana in it,never pick up a plate that has bananas on it. Thinking about it, i cant stop laughing. This happened 14 years ago, and i still have a banana phobia. I keep telling my uncle, that he was the reason i cant eat bananas anymore. That he was the reason i cant pick his plate of banana and that he has to pick it up on his own. He laughs so hard but he doesn't recall it. He keeps saying did i really do that. I love my uncle. Now i can always run away from cleaning anything that has banana on it:P:P:P Thanks Uncle. LOL
Have a wonderful day everyone:):)

This month, many years ago,---------------------

It was June. I remember i walked up the stairs. I found my parents bedroom open. I went in with a smile on my face. I saw my dad. He was wiping his hand,about to pray. I remember where i was standing. I remember everything as if it is happening now. I checked on my sister. She was asleep. Wait a minute. I wasn't sure if she was asleep. Her face was a mixture of green,blue.She didn't look normal to me. I brought this to the attention of my father. He asked me to leave the room. My heart beats werent normal anymore. I realized something was really wrong. I didn't want to leave. I left but stood out in the corner of the hall between my parent's room and the other rooms. I heard my father call my uncle. My uncle had a black bag in his hand and he walked straight into my parents room. He was checking on my sister. Then my dad called my mom. My mom came up the stairs. She had a mug in her hand. She entered the room. She had this look i shall never forget. Then she was in tears. She had her face covered with both of her hands. I knew then, that my sister was gone.But my uncle was a doctor,if my sister was sick he could help her right? I was a kid,that's what i thought then.But nope.He couldn't.He didn't. Our house turned into a funeral home. Then i realized that there was no way my sister is coming back. I still remember she was wearing a cute pink outfit. I remember everything and i was only a kid then. Many years have passed. I never talked about it with anyone. Not even to my own parents. True, i was a kid,but i understood the pain my parents were enduring, and wasn't about to make them feel worse. I kept my feeling about my sister's death deep within me. I never told anyone about her death. People whom i knew after this incident never knew i lost a sister. I just couldn't tell anyone. It was way too painful. Then there was school, when i went back kids were pointing at me and saying she lost her sister. Some even teased me about it. I still remember their faces. I still remember where i was standing when the kids were talking about my sister's death. I understand now that they were kids, they didn't understand how hurt i was. But then i was a kid too,and i didn't know how to deal with her loss. I never forgot being the first to see her dead. It is really weird that after all these years i have decided to blog about it. Never did i do that in the past. Never. It was something forbidden. As if talking about her meant her death was more real. But it was real. It was "al qadar". Now, i see my cousin who happens to be a year younger then her and i say if she was alive she would have been this year, or that. She would have shared a room with me. She would have....she would have......

It is really hard when you lose someone. But moving on is a must. Moving on doesn't mean you don't like them anymore. I told that to my friend who recently lost her brother in a car crash, because she was planning to put her life on hold FOREVER she'd never go back to university and that basically she would stop living. This was the only time i brought to anyone that i lost a sister. I told her, moving on is part of life,it has nothing to do with stopping our love for those whom we lost. Death is essential thing in our life, and if her bro was alive he would have wanted her to continue to live her life,just like my sister would have. So never take anything for granted,not even the fights you have with your siblings. Really, I'm serious. Bordem would take over,if we didn't have ups and downs in our life. If everything was all happy,then we wouldn't learn the value of being happy. Don't feel sad for me, or sorry. It is totally ok. I'm ok.I miss her, and that is only normal...I know well enough that we are but passengers in this life,and any given moment we'll leave. I wish for that moment to be when we are ready to face Allah. Last, but not least never stop telling those you love, that you love them. I love you all. Alhamdullah.

Beach trip,and i didnt even touch the water!!!!!

Yesterday i went to the beach with my mom,dad,grandma,little siblings,and little cousins. Yes finally i did go. I went to Garabulli beach. It was nice and empty at first...the problem was it was too sunny....So i couldn't really enjoy it much... i went to the beach with a bunch of my little cousins (BIG MISTAKE) lesson number one: if their parents are going never volunteer to take them.. ... noise noise noise noise...it was so sunny i couldn't bare setting outside(MISTAKE NUMBER TWO) don't go to the beach around 1pm and expect to enjoy the beach. I stayed in the room almost all of the day (the place had 2 rooms,kitchen,small hall,and balcony in the back). Our trip started with the legendary "embakbka"-famous libyan zarda dish:):) and "sharmola"-tomato,pepper,onion,salt and bread...No pictures included cuz my little cousins didn't bother waiting when my mom and i were putting the food, they just started eating (well what do you expect when the age range is 4-10)?????? I took one pic of the beach(with my cousin's camera) and my cousin promised to send it and until now no show!!!

At around 6pm i decided to grab a chair,set outside,and read my book....I stayed for less then 15 minutes and since our room had a street in front of it, guys started staring...i hate it when they do that...so the first one i ignored cuz i thought ok it might be cuz I'm holding a book and reading...then the second one he actually slowed down his car:(:( and "rogbtah greeb etkasret leen 7'ofet 3aleeh"...I felt sorry for him and decided to go indoors until it was around 7:00pm when we decided to leave...and to end our trip we made a stop at one of the stores on the road and had ice cream:):) I got home and promised myself never ever to go to the beach if i wasn't gonna swim in duhr time....

I remembered my trip to UAE this past summer, where we went to a place called ladies club (it has every activity that may hit u)and it was a place i will never forget..cuz it had a wonderful beach,two swimming pools,an awesome restaurant and it was all ladies everyday... it was a fancy place.....i wish we had a place like that in Libya....This place for ladies is a must visit.....If i go to UAE again this summer i'll for sure pay the place a visit:)...

My thoughts are all over...I just woke up and didn't have breakfast yet..TTUAL..

The weather,indoors and LONDON:P

The weather has been really hot lately,i so want to go to the beach but so far no luck, all my cousins are taking their exams and im the only one free....plus everyone here is busy with the arrival of relatives that there has been no time for any zarada trips!!

So i have been trying to enjoy my time in doors, doing nothing but sleeping in, reading for my favourite Author John Grisham(The Last Juror),and hanging out at grandma.. I started "The Last Juror" awhile ago but because of exams and all i had to put reading it on hold and now is the time to finish it up:)

Other then that, i have been checking the net to get a better view of London. I'm not sure how much i will get to see in London cuz of the internship (work work work), but im hoping i'd stop at Harrods. I really must visit this place (or something will happen to me)....I have made a list of a must see, but since i dont know much about London and its so far apart im not sure if my friends there would be willing to be all over the place in one week----and im only free for few hours each day....Londoners any suggestions?!!

I have 13 days left before i head to London...I'm excited...Lets hope things work out:)

Mabrook Mabrook Mabrook (gr.9)

Yesterday was the "big day" for the Libyan Radio station. Almost all Libyans were glued to their radios to hear the results of the grade nine students. This grade is considered a "shahada". It is a big thing in Libya. Even those who have no family member in grade nine would still be glued to the radio,well how else would they know if "folna/folan" passed or not...Normal Libyan gasgsa...

For us, it was a time of joy. We already knew that my sister has passed,with a "mumtaz"-92% Mashallah:) so really we were listening with so much ease. Thats the fun part about being Libyan...if you knew the "right people" your results were out for you before the actual announcment:) My cousin on the other hand,although had a 96 %point something wasnt really that happy cuz he expected to be one of the top ten on Aljamhirya, so he was disappointed to know he missed the 10th position by point something. He was extreemly sad...I keep reminding them (my cousin and my sister) that say Alhamdullah you passed, and you know your results so you dont have to endure the pain of waiting for your name. Having said that we stayed until it was Fajer prayer. That was when we finally heard their names,got up from our beds prayed, then went back to bed. Zardas are going to start rolling soon. I love zardas:)

Congrats to all those who passed, and to the rest good luck on "dor tani"...Sister n cousin, congratulations you too, your hard work and dedication didnt go to waste:)

P.S: Akak: i heard one of the akaks pass.So if hes your family member congrats:)

Little Mosque on the Prairie

"It is an opportunity to see Muslims as having the same concerns as other people, like school, relationships and family life. I think it is surprising to people because it is so normalizing."

I dont know how many of you have heard of this setcom. It is news to me. (am i really so behind??)I was looking through islamonline and i came accross the show that is supposed to humanize muslims to the public...and i couldnt but stop to ponder about the use of word "humanize"....and then i read that this has the same intention that the Bill Cosby's show had in the 70s/80s and that is to humanize African Americans.....How many more ethnic/religion groups need to be humanized?? Do you think this is a good step??? Any thoughts??

"On one episode, an embarrassed Baber explains to a recent convert of Islam why his daughter does not wear the hijab, saying that the wind blew it off her head. The scene continues as the daughter exclaims "Dad, for the nine zillionth time, I’m not wearing it!" Baber then blames teenage hormones for his daughter’s apparent lack of faith."

I want to watch it....Do you?!

My past...My present..

Yesterday was a busy day! We had the guests over,and things went as planned. Their kids reminded me of my past years, of our time together,of everything that meant so much to me,of a life that was mine..the girls were so much younger.....oh my... mashallah they have grown up...really this life is going by so fast...i remembered everything wonderful..my camping trips,my workshops,my volunteer work,my parties,my picnics,my awesome past!! How wonderful. I miss those days. Libya is different. But maybe it is time that i experience this world..the world where i should belong..

(THE END)..

____________________________

(Present-Today)

My uncle and his family are here... Life is good-Alhamdullah! Happymoi is happy!! Lots to say,but im really busy and i gotta be at grandma for tea (i missed it i think now). Just thought i drop in and say im alife and well...OMG I just remembered i actually missed my show today,this never happens not even in my exam days. OMG ...how could i forget...The only day i didnt watch my show was the night of my criminal law exam..but for me to miss my show in my day off thats just sooooo shocking!!! Whats up with me?!!!!Am i getting off my routine? IS that good?!!

:) Good Morning, guests for lunch,and family reunion soon?!

Waking up this morning was not like any other!! I wasn't thinking about how many pages i out to get done by 2pm, I wasn't thinking about which room shall i study in. For the first time, since April, my mind is free to rest, free of having to look at all these words and texts. I think my brain too wanted to celebrate and it kind of envied the rest of my body (cuz it saw that my hands move,my legs jump,my mouth screams) and it remains silent...So through blogging I'm giving it a chance to put down its thoughts (yet again my brain was teary cuz my hands had to transform its thoughts into words)...lol..and now my brain hates it when my mouth has a big smile about its weird thoughts.

Screaming was an option but then i was afraid we'll have all of Tripoli over for lunch. I came back from the exam(yesterday) and the first thing i did was ring the bell of my Aunt's house. I found my cousin and i did exactly the same thing you see above except i didn't have a hat, but a purse...she hugged me and told me that i shouldn't use "shmata" cuz she too has until Sunday and then shes done. lol. was i "atshamething"? I don't know! Ok yes. lol. It feels good when one is done, and I'm sure it feels 100 times better when one passes.

So with that, my mom just told me that later i have to go pick up her friend (who is visiting from UAE) and bring her here for lunch--I'm not driving my bro is--she has five girls mashallah. Last time i saw them was 6 years ago, and she had 2 girls then. So yay at least we have "an out of the routine" thing. YAY.

Tomorrow, Uncle S and his family are coming from UAE. Then 10 days later Uncle MO and his family are coming from UAE,Uncle M and his family are coming from Canada,and my cousin and her family are coming from Canada. So ..soon this place will be full of people,full of stories and full of kids....I'm looking forward to seeing everyone.

Exam Number 10 --DONE DONE DONE

Done DONE done DoNe Done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done done.....

Alhamdullah.....

Summer here i come...London get ready for Happymoi's visit...

Aunts/Uncles/Grandmas---I'm going to be around and about so get ready (get ur shopping done) ...friends --after the results i'll come by to say my congrats but before that i gotta catch up with my family..they forgot i exist!!

I shall enjoy my momentary FREEDOM (i hope it last when my results come out) :P Inshallah. Take care everyone...Summer has just began for moi:)

To YOU with LOVE (L)

*******************************

News (Just in): Katia's Graduation Pics- Mabrook sweetheart(L)

*******************************

Main Entry:- 2 u wd (L):

I'm not a believer in that one day is enough to remember those closest to our hearts. Katia's grad inspired me to remember the most wonderful person in my life,the one who has been there for me since day ONE,and is still there for me..This person was there when i was Katia's age,and way before i was even born..and continues to be there.. Today,I'm taking few moments from my time to send this special message to one of the most wonderful persons in this entire world.

______________________

I will never forget everything you have done for me. Everything!! You have been truly amazing. I don't know what i could ever do without you.The thought of loosing you,makes my nights sleepless...you know why? because being with you is the best thing that ever happened to me... You are my source of inspiration...you are truly my best friend. I wrote this sentence knowing that i would never go back to delete it because I'm 100% sure it will never change ... I'm telling you this -in time where friends are rare...where the word friend is not easily said...where these six letter word is sacred...in this century...

_____________________

It is true that it wasn't my choice to be your daughter but if i had a choice i wouldn't have it any different then it already is.

I love you.

"I love you"

Dad you are awesome! Thanks for being with me every step of the way!YOu are the best father in the whole entire universe..and i know it for sure:P

Exam Number Nine ?!

I really dont know how i did.
I answered all questions but im not sure if i was able to put down all that is required(i may have). All i want in this subject is a pass. That is a 50%. I'm serious for the first time in my life about not wanting more then 50% in criminal law. I think i should be able to get it,but i dont know. There is this side of me that is saying dont say you did ok and dont say you didnt do ok. Just leave it like that. So the answer is i really dont know. It is really weird that i must feel that way...I'm hoping that everyone will sincerely pray for me to pass it. All my other courses went fine-Alhamdullah. So inshallah khair with this one...

My 10th and last final is going to take place Monday.
Next exam: National Thought (known as Fiker Jamaheri)
Time of the exam: 11am-1pm
Date of the exam: June18th,2007.

I can't wait until 1pm on June the 18th. Well i better go take a shower, and have lunch...and take the rest of the day off.... I will study tomorrow for national thought for it only requires few hours. It is not alot of material!

Exam Number 8:

Before i talk about my Inhertience Law exam i want you all to pray for me day and night for my Saturday exam (Criminal Law). This is the course which i scored so low in, on my midterm so im really praying for myself and im hoping everyone would too. Yes Akak i need your pills but i need an overdose and im sure it wont kill me,in fact, it could be what saves me:P

So surprise surprise, i answered all the mathmathics questions CORRECT ..right on YAY. Alhamdullah. The written part was ok,and i did fine in it too.... The first person i saw when i went out was Aymen (a classmate who got higher then me in this subject) and before he even got a chance to say a word i ordered him not to say a word!

Then i just started saying the answers loud enough for him to hear and he replied yes. I almost hugged him. No worrys i have good control overmyself even when im out of control LOOOOOOL. So im happy. I have this feeling though about my next exam thats making me uneasy. Maybe its due to the fact that im really scared to fail it. Private Criminal Law is the one subject i dread. Everyone is just as worried as im. SO please everyone. You have plenty of time to pray for me before/after/until i pass:P is that too much to ask?!!

I dont know what im doing blogging..i should be studying..
My plan is:
Sleep for 2 hours. It is 2pm on my cellphone. The page still has inacurrate time. I tried fixing it. But i see it has 3:01 (no am not about to fix it).
Wake up start on book one,with the stuff i didnt study on my midterm.
Try to finish the second part of book one today with the notes related to that section.
Tomorrow book 2 with the notes
Friday book 2 if not done (which is more likely) then back to Book 1 the first part.

Next Exam: Criminal Law (:(:(:( (please ed3oli,your prayers)
Time of the Exam: 11pm-1pm
Date of the exam:16/6/2007

Done blogging until then.

Exam Number Seven:)

Alhamdullah---

My exam went well. I'm so happy. I'm happy beyond belief!! A tough exam is off the way for good inshallah. No more commercial law:) I'm so happy!! Really today happy is truely happy!! And nothing will ruin it for me nothing...Plus>>>i'm going to fly to London in July. I'm so excited. Its related to the internship i have mentioned earlier...I'm looking forward to that:)

Past>>Experience>>Life>>MOVING ON!!
I have placed everything behind in regards to what happened with "her". I dont even want to call her a friend. She is still insisting on annoying me with foul langauge,but alhamdullah i have been dealing with her the right way. I just walk away. I leave her talk and never say a word back...I never would, foul language isnt for me to use! I have "wakelet ameri le Allah" i have put all my trust in God and alhamdullah, what she says doesnt bother me anymore...I have decided to move,and to forget i ever had her as a -------- because this proved to me she never was!!!

I'm doing very well. This coming monday is an official holiday.. Alhamdullah as a result our exams are postponed. Which means:my next exam will be Inhertience law and it will take place wednesday June13,2007. Lots of time to prepare for Inhertience Law--Alhamdullah!

Next exam: Inhertience Law
Time of the exam: 11am-1pm
Date of the exam:13/6/1007.

This postponding means that my exams will take place until June18. But thats ok. Because national though will take place then and its an easy subject. So alhamdullah. I'll consider mysefl done June16:P Hope you are all well:)

UPDATE:
The school has been taking serious measures to prevent the use of cellphones:) I dont know how i forgat to mention that...i'm so happy:) Its a law school for real:) KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK ADMINSTRATION:P

Exam Number 6:

Lebeeya: I pray for your safety and the saftey of my beloved relatives and fellow human beings. My heart goes for you all (L).

Alhamdullah big times. My exam went better then i could have imgained. To be honest, i wasnt hundred percent prepared for the exam. I was distracted by 'the problem' but i tired my best....>>>and >>Life>>>moves on!! I hope peacfully after this mess!!

I decided to take a risk and study all the past exam questions from year 1998 until this year's final exams in other Universities.I thought whats important cant change,plus it was international law, so it is not too hard to write and be right. I was lucky enough that the prof didnt go out of Those exams. In fact it was similair to the questions given to other universities with exception to one question...So alhamdullah it went well.

I have four exams left (one easy -national thought, three tough ones: Commercial law,Criminal law,Inhertience law). The toughest courses in year three are: Commercial Law, Criminal Law,Inhertience Law. So rabi yuster.

On another note: I'm really excited...I have been offered an internship with a Lawyer in L. I hope things work out well and that i end up going. I just got his msg yesterday. I can't wait until school is over and i'm all free to fly away.

Other than that: I'm doing well. Hope everyone else is...

Next Exam: Commercial Law
Exam Date: Saturday June9th,2007
Time of the exam:11am to 1pm

4 more exams to go YAY..The count down is real. Damoon : i laughed so hard at your comment...mani: yes a change in its real sense,a wake up call to reevaluate ppl i mix with....im doing the reevalutation this summer...Int.Boy: Thanks for the well wishes. Akak: THANK YOU FOR your baraka a day...dont know what i'd do without it..Ibee: I appreciate all ur comments, you have a way of cheering me up...thanks.

Exam Number Five:

Today hasnt been a good day for me....It has nothing to do my exam. My exam went well alhamdullah....but i have had to deal with a problem...the big disappointment was that it was from someone i thought of as a friend....threats,foul langauge,and everything a friend is not!!!

All i want right now is everyone's prayers....and that somehow "rabi efkni sawo al nas". Seriously im disappointed...I have said it many times,that in Libya becoming a friend with girls brings you lots of trouble. I dont know how many people here believe in such a theory....i know there are exceptions to every rule...so im praying no more disappointments...

On another note: i'm done half of my exams...I'm happy about that.....five more to go....please ed3oli...

Next exam: International law
Time of the exam:11pm-1pm
Date of the exam:6/6/2007

Dont forget me with your prayers. I'm really sad:(

Exam Number 4:

Weird Day--
There is nothing worse then going to the exam and feeling sick. That was my state today. I almost fainted before i entered the exam. I had a strong headache,and a stomache ache. I had Pandol before i left the house. I couldnt eat breakfast..(i never eat breakfast on normal days except forcefully during exam days and so with being sick there was no way i'd be able to swollow anything more then water/pandol.)
I feel so bitter!! I do. The exam was easy. I made the stupidest mistake ever!! I hate it when i do that. I feel so sorry for myself. I could have easily scored perfect only if i paid enough attention (concentration issues). There were two questions each worth 30 marks. Question number one had ten points to which i answered perfectly (alhamdullah). Question number two was a case concerning divorce/child support/compnesation.We have to spot the mistakes in the case and fix them. I started with mistake number one :i determined the wrong court...that was so stupied of me,why? the prof gave us the exact same case in class on our last lecture and i answered it with him in class. When i was taking the exam, i was mentally saying i need to change the court to (*****) and instead i copied with my won eyes the same mistake written in the exam question(helloo im supposed to fix it)...Well i did the same error during my midterm and my prof only took off 2 marks. I just hope that overall i dont lose more then 10 marks...(mentally i'm saying please God not more then five) lol. I'm crazy!!!
The reason i feel bitter is because i knew the answer. Walahi if i didnt i wouldnt care less..But i knew it..i make mistakes of such types all the time...=(lack of concentration) any solutions?!!!

--I almost got killed today,i took a shower and i took in water instead of breathing air..that should happen when a person is swiming but i was taking a shower for God's sake. I almost died."ga3det enfarfesh".. My nose still hurts while i'm typing this. But at least im breathing now. Its a blessing in case any of you have forgatten!!!

>>>on another note,my parents and little siblings are on a trip abraod..they are soooooooo lucky!!!

***OPPS -i just eyed them,my sis told me they are coming back today!! Weird: they were supposed to come on Thursday!! I wonder what happened?!! Well i guess its because they didnt take me with them. I told them to wait until i'm done...oh well. They are coming back :)

Next Exam: General Financial Law (MONEY) --
(light subject,with only 7 lectures/no books yay for the first time i only need to cover my written notes)
Time of the exam:11am-1pm
Date of the exam: June4th,2007

Again duaa please.
I'm tired from exams! I cant wait until they are over! Ya rabi please i want them over soon!